Megachurch Pastor John Gray Issues Tearful Public Apology to Wife Amid Sexting Scandal, Cites Childhood Trauma (video)

The controversial church leader, 50, opened up during a recent episode of Laterras R. Whitfield's podcast 'Dear Future Wifey,' recorded at Gray's Love Story Church (formerly Relentless Church) in Greenville, South Carolina

Megachurch pastor John Gray has publicly apologized to his wife, Aventer Gray, and to his church congregation for past inappropriate relationships and a sexting scandal that nearly ended both his marriage and ministry. The 50-year-old pastor made the emotional admission during a nearly three-hour episode of the Dear Future Wifey podcast, recorded at Love Story Church in Greenville, South Carolina, formerly known as Relentless Church.

Gray attributed his behavior to deep-seated emotional wounds caused by childhood sexual abuse and what he described as demonic forces. He revealed for the first time that he had been sexually assaulted at the age of four by two men, an event he believes planted a “demon” that lay dormant until it emerged in his adult life to sabotage his marriage.

“I want to say to Aventer, thank you for showing me what the love of Christ looks like because you loved a very unlovable man,” Gray said in the podcast. “And I want to tell you how very sorry I am for the pain I caused.”

Gray claimed his 'dysfunctional approach to marriage' stemmed from childhood sexual trauma involving multiple men

He also addressed his congregation and followers who may have been hurt or disillusioned by the public revelations of his misconduct. “To the people who knew that God called me but saw the headlines of a failure, of brokenness you didn’t know the origin of—I want to say I'm sorry.”

Gray discussed how the trauma of his early abuse shaped his distorted understanding of relationships and intimacy. “I was thrown away. I was spit on. I was maligned for the brokenness that was given to me,” he said, adding that the trauma manifested later in his marriage and spiritual life.

Describing his upbringing with a devout single mother, Gray said early experiences around sexuality were met with shame. He recounted having his first wet dream as a teenager and being told to bathe, ask God for forgiveness, and go back to bed. This, he explained, reinforced the belief that he was inherently bad and led to repression and confusion.

Gray claimed that he remained a virgin until marrying Aventer at age 37, though he admitted to 'near sexual experiences' including phone sex and masturbation before

Although Gray claimed he remained a virgin until marrying Aventer at the age of 37, he admitted to engaging in "near sexual experiences" such as phone sex and masturbation prior to marriage. He emphasized that while he was always active in church, his deeper issues remained unresolved. “Everybody told me Jesus would fix it… but there are some things the altar can’t do,” he said.

Gray also made the shocking confession that he subconsciously sabotaged his ministry. “I wasn’t blindsided by people going to blogs. I wanted it to happen because I was trying to die… I wanted her to leave because I never felt worthy of her.”

Megachurch pastor John Gray has made an emotional public apology to his wife Aventer and thousands of followers after inappropriate relationships and a sexting scandal nearly destroyed his marriage and ministry

He described recurring visions of himself living alone in a small apartment, surrounded by unpaid bills and emptiness—what he believed was his deserved future. “I didn’t trust her [Aventer] because how can you love me when I don’t love me?”

Despite the scandal and inner turmoil, Gray expressed a desire to continue healing and emphasized the importance of breaking generational curses and confronting personal demons. He challenged critics to look within before casting judgment: “Before you go sending me to Hell, you should probably check for the demons that are knocking on your door.”